Mom Guilt 002: Social Media

We all do it.

We all follow others on social media purely from a covetous motive.

Oh, I like that living room. Oh, I wish I had that kitchen. Oh, I wish I did that kid of art with my kids. Oh, I wish I had those legs. Or midsection. Or pant size. Oh, I wish I had her hair. Oh, I wish I was as Catholic as her. Oh, I wish I was in Europe right now. Oh, I wish I had that cup of coffee, over looking that view. Oh, I wish.

So, then I better spend money promptly on a rug. I better take from my savings to build that kitchen. I better spend 104 hours tonight scouring Pinterest for the best art projects & my kids better be freakin Monet. I better work out more. I better not eat sugar. Or carbs. Or dairy. Or have survival juice wine. I better spend a hour each morning to do my hair. I better show off more to my friends about just how awesomely Catholic I am. I better book my ticket to France. I better.

A couple of months ago I unfollowed close to 150 accounts on Instagram. That was roughly a ⅓ of the people I follow. And last night while watching another binge of Gilmore Girls, it took me back to the jealousy that invades the hearts of 30 something year olds deep in the trenches of social media.

It was That Damn Donna Reed episode. Rory & her mom Lorelei, have Dean over – Rory’s high school boyfriend. Like every other night, they are in front of the TV watching old classics with the volume muted, adding their own commentary. Their commentary leads to a future fight between Dean & Rory about the role of a woman/wife. If you haven’t seen this episode, I’ll say in the short of it, that Dean & Rory lead the audience to believe that there can and should be a balance between the 1950s housewife and the must-have-independence-and-answer-to-no-one mentality. It originally aired in 2001.

15 years later we , the audience, are still fighting. But now instead of arguing that every woman should be a 1950s housewife, we are arguing that we must be the other. Have no one tell you what to do. Women are smarter & all men are idiots. Don’t have kids, you must choose a career instead. If you don’t work…. what do you do all day? You must be wasting your life away. If you do have kids, why do you need more than one? Why don’t you want to make your own dating rules; you can sleep with whom every you want. Go travel. Be a size 2. Have a six pack…even after having that extra kid you probably shouldn’t have. Sleep with whomever. It’s fine.

The world is so loud. And now it’s arguing in the other direction. Did I miss that happy bliss moment when the pendulum swung from one way to another? In a world that shouts RELATIVISM, we are wrong if we aren’t what they want us to be: smart, working women, who are a size two, has a stupid husband, and kids out of sight. Just watch any commercial. Or better yet – go look at your Instagram. Oh, and don’t be all religious or anything. Because religion is dictating. Everyone should be who and what they want, so don’t be religious. It’s oppressive. It tells you what to do. #irony #rantover

I like Gilmore Girls. Aside from drinking as much coffee as one, their message is always a good one. Find the balance. Follow your gut. Stand up for yourself. Pursue your dreams even if others think you foolish.

Deleting that many accounts has gained inner peace for myself. Let’s be honest. I already struggle enough with self deprecation. Who doesn’t? So why do I need another 150 accounts reminding me how horribly I’ve missed the bar of their perfection.

xo, k